COMFORT OR TERROR? OR BOTH?

 When i read Psalms 139 there are so many feelings and thoughts that come to me. 

If i read it from the perspective of how awesome God is, and how loved and cared for and unique and special i am, then this Psalm is nothing but a comfort and an encouragement! He knows me. He sees me. He's in love with me. He created me. He planned things for me. I am not an accident. I am not a cosmic whim, or a result of some sort of random and bizarre process. I am not here without reason or purpose. I have been fearfully and wonderfully made. Someone took the time, care and love to think me up, design me, form me, spent time thinking of what was i going to look like, what my personality and character were going to be like, what things i would like, enjoy, thrive on, and put in me a void that only could be filled by encountering Him during my time here on earth and get to know the one who made me! My creator. Nothing about me is an accident, He didn't make a mistake, or overlooked anything about me. No, no mistakes at all. The world might think there's things wrong with me, or you, and they might look at you and say you are a freak, an accident, weird, odd, ugly, dumb, and many other derogatory terms, but you can rest assured, those are all lies coming from our enemy, who hates God's creation and will do anything within his limited power to take God's masterpieces down tot he dark pit with him. 

So, when reading this Psalm, i can think of those things and be so encouraged. 

But there's another way to think about it when i read it, specially some parts that speak to the beauty of God being sovereign and all knowing and all present. 

And this is what i am talking about. Right away David says "Oh God, you have searched me and known me". This right here is both an awesome and scary thought. And what comes next makes it even more serious. Not only God has searched me, dug deep through my everything, and known me, but he keeps going saying "...you perceive my thoughts from afar...". This makes my heart tremble in a humble way. Whatever comes and is on my mind at any given time, He knows!!! So, when i think that whatever i am thinking is harmless because no one can know and see, i am very mistaken. The very person we should be afraid of knowing our thoughts knows them all. When you're lusting after something, whether a person or things, when you are bitter and have hating thoughts towards someone, when you lied and know you did, when you have evil intentions, and scheme cheating and deceiving things, God sees it all! There's nothing hidden from Him. Crazy! So, how is our thought life? How are our souls?

Keeps going..."You discern my going out and my lying down;

    you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
    you, Lord, know it completely."

When we are trying o be sneaky, when you think your spouse or children are not watching, He is. He knows ALL of our ways! Even what you are going to say, He knows it already. 

Is this a reason to fear God? YES!!! But the fear we ought to have before Him should not be a fear of punishment or a fear of rejection or disappointment, but a humble and loving fear. A fear of hurting and letting Him down. A fear of rejecting His love, of taking it for granted, dragging Jesus' sacrifice through the mud, dishonoring the greatest display of love in history, and throwing His love and sacrifice up in His face. This fear should be greater than the fear we have of things here on earth. We fear the police because we know punishment is coming. We fear justice because we know when we break the law there will be consequences. And we fear these things rightly. But there's a greater law and punishment above these earthly things. The possibility to spend our eternity without meeting and being with our Creator, with our lover, Savior, friend, Father, bridegroom. God sees us as His bride, and to ignore Him and go our own way, it is rejecting the greatest love we could ever know. 

And the fear is a fear based on love, not on punishment. Yes, there's punishment for breaking the law, but He has already, out of love, the forgiveness needed to escape the punishment. Why wouldn't we reverently humble ourselves and pledge our love to this God that has gone way out of His way to provide a way for us to be with Him? And this is grace. He did it in spite of our sin. So that we wouldn't live in sin anymore! He cleansed us! Why would we go back to the mud pit and get dirty and filthy again?

And the Psalm keeps going with so many amazing thoughts and words that should make us wonder and be in awe of this amazing God. But for now, I will leave it there. Think about it. Blessings!