ANXIOUS? TIRED? STRESSED OUT?

heavy hearted? anxious? weighed down?

have you ever felt this way?

irritated without knowing why?

Just out of whack?

Anxious?

Just plain tired mentally, emotionally, physically? 

Drained?

If you answer yes to any of these questions, chances are that you are pretty normal. These feelings come naturally as life happens everyday.

Life is filled with email writing, texting, schedule running, errands, bills, work, kids and their activities, groceries, cooking, family hosting, holidays, parties, parent teacher conferences, cleaning, laundry, relationships and friendships, raising kids, homework, being married, financial stress, etc. You name it, life is filled with all kinds of things that take our time, energy, emotions, resources, and everything else we are made of. 

It’s noise, blur, distractions, confusion and unrest that it’s meant to keep us numb, disconnected, always running, flying by the seat of our pants from one activity to another, never stopping to listen, to calm down, to refuel, to recharge, to slow down and rest, to contemplate, meditate, take a good look around, the evaluate, to be aware, etc.

Our hearts are always rushing, always just reacting, readjusting, and trying our best to keep ourselves together in the midst of chaos, and more often than not we are not able to truly function the way we are supposed to, so we end up just barely making it every day. Our hearts are so tired that we flare up at the smallest of things. We yell at our kids cause we are in turmoil inside of us already. Our spouses feel the weight of our fury! Filters that we have developed through the years that make us hear things that are not said that mess with us. Or maybe those things are being meant to hurt us, but even more so because of our filters they seem and feel a lot deeper and heavier. A financial setback or the worries or our mortgage payment or something else that make us lose control and either take it out on someone we love or someone we despise or it makes us run to things that will take away the feeling momentarily, whether is TV binging, shopping, drugs, alcohol, porn, more work, more activities that make our schedule fuller, or whatever drug of our choice we pick.  WE are running on fumes. We are running on empty. And where do we get refueled? Where do you go to refill? What is your source of filling up? 

What do you fill your heart and soul up with?

The everyday life struggles and things that make it noisy and keep us distracted makes us zombies that just go through life barely making it. We are so distracted, confused, like chickens with our heads cut off and we are barely hanging on.

Yet stopping seems too complicated, too risky, too time wasting, too inefficient, too worthless.

But what is our other option? Do we even realize how much noise we have going on? How can we expect to know the one who whispers, the one who speaks in the secret, in the quiet, in the stillness?

How can we learn to live a life of listening to Jesus and His Spirit and His voice and guidance and leading when the only way we could do this is by quieting our crazy lives and sitting down and listening and abiding and just basking in His presence, feeding on every word and insight and wisdom that he gives?

What other way is there? Really. Seriously. What other option do we have that is better? Who else offers us the kind of promises, rewards and life that he does?

What does the world offer you? Let’s look at the things it does offer us compared to the way of Jesus.

Let’s take an honest look.

For me, i truly need to think about these things and remember them every day of my life cause i easily get caught up in the trap of performance and doing and trying to prove i am worth it and that i produce, etc. I can start thinking and living and believing that the busier i am the more justified is my presence in this world. The more i do, the more i accomplish should make me feel better, yet i see a different rule in my life. The more i do, the busier i get, the more i produce and the more i accomplish seem to not satisfy but the opposite. These things make me feel drained, unfulfilled, dissatisfied, like i’m not enough, like i need to do more, etc. It is a trap. 

And yet, when i abide in Christ, when i am spending time resting in his presence, looking and gazing upon him, loving and being loved by him, listening to his word and meditating on it, the fuller, the better, the more fulfilled i feel, and the times when i connect with others, and the things that i do out of the flow of being in his presence, the people he connects me with and the things he gives me to do every day, whether many of them or just one, they fill my heart and make it glad, cause i know i am living out of the flow of my relationship with him, and whatever i accomplish everyday is enough cause it came out of my obedience to him. I do and say only what he asks me to do and say. Nothing more, nothing less. And that is all he is asking me to do. 

I have to remember that. I cannot worry about that which i am not doing or accomplishing if that’s not what he has asked me or showed me or invited me to do. Only living this way can i be free, fulfilled, at peace, at rest, with joy, with abundant life.

And why would i want to live any other way???

VULNERABLE...A WINDOW INTO REAL LIFE LIVING

So, I am going to share with you from my own personal, very real, very tangible life today!
It is one thing to really be inspired, to receive revelation from God, to hear and to study His word and to have His Spirit reveal things to you and then writing about them and posting them online as a means to encourage and exhort brothers and sisters in their walk with God. I love it! I feel so good and excited and blessed and thankful to receive this gift of inspiration and writing about His word and His promises and power and hope.

But it is another thing to put it into practice. To be real. To let it reach into my everyday life and different situations that i get faced with on a regular basis. Things that you and I face everyday. Choices we are faced with. Temptations. You and I are not very different. These things come in different ways or packaged differently, but they are basically all the same and have the same purpose. TO bring shame. Torment. Guilt. To make us hide. Run. Not be authentic. To excuse. To defend.

And we are faced with the choice of what we are going to do about it. What will our response be?

Today, I was faced with one of those choices earlier this morning.

This morning Gary (my lead pastor) called me to share with me how awesome he thought the Christmas program went yesterday, which i agree! 

Seeing new families come and the connections that happened because of the program were God ordained. Lots of good things!

But also he called to see if we would be meeting today as we usually do on Mondays.

I told him that i had a few things going on today, some errands to run, lunch with someone and then Micah's singing thing at school and picking up my truck from the shop, etc. 

So, he understood and then asked me out of curiosity who i was having lunch with.

So, for whatever reason i am still contemplating, i lied to him. OMG!!!   I KNOW! I lied.

Well, kind of, i might excuse it. But really, there's no excuse. It might sound like a little lie or a white lie, but the reason i am sharing it is so that maybe it can be a blessing to you sometime down the road. 

I am having lunch with someone. I am having lunch with Micah. My son. He asked me if he could have cold lunch for today and since i didn't have time this morning to make one for lunch, i told him i would just bring it over at his lunch time. Nothing wrong with it, right?

But when Gary asked me, i felt like hiding, like ashamed, like i needed to make something up of "more importance" or of more "ministerial value" so that he wouldn't think i was not "pastoral enough" or "spiritual enough" or whatever crap was going through my heart at the time.

SO i told him i was having lunch with Joe instead, and that i was doing that to be with him but that also that helped me connect with his friends. Which it is true. I have done that and i love it. Just being there and hanging out with his friends gives me the opportunity to get to know them.

But that is not the case today. So i told him that so that it sounded more "important" or "spiritual".

How silly. So, i called him back but he didn't answer so i wrote him an email and shared with him this very thing, and confessed my lie to him and repented from it.

But i thought i'd do that with you as well, cause above all things, i want to always walk in complete transparency and freedom with everyone, and this was going to be bugging me all day. I am not saying i will confess all of my stupid choices with you all the time (you don't want to know... :)))

But it is a practice that heals my heart and this time i felt i needed to share it with you.

SO, there i am, vulnerable about my stupid "little lie" or "white lie" for your amusement, maybe. Maybe you'll laugh about it. or raise your eyebrows and open your mouth in disbelief that the associate pastor lied!!!!

Either way, i consider you important enough in my life to let you have a look into my "real life" struggles as well as victories and "insights'. 

That is how i want to live His word everyday, not only write about it. 

So, you see, I am wanting to let His word really have an impact in my life. Living it out through every situation and being real with others about it. 

I don't just want to "sound" spiritual in what i write about. I want to live it out. So, I am giving you a window into my soul to let you see that, reality is, we are all broken. We are all susceptible to lying, cheating, sinning and falling into temptation. None is exempt. But as we allow His light to always shine, no matter how ugly the truth about who we are is, His love and forgiveness will keep us free!

Have a blessed day!

PRESS PAUSE...THEN RESUME PLAY

ABOVE ALL -  NOTHING ELSE MATTERS

THE INCOMPARABLE GIFT OF GOD’S PRESENCE

“In repentance and rest is your salvation; in quietness and trust is your strength” Isaiah 30:15

I have been so blessed by this verse and it has meant so much at different times in my life, but always brings me back to realizing that no matter what my life looks like, feels like, what all is going on, how busy, how stressful, filled with all kinds of things, finances, parenting, training, loving, forgiving, leading, etc, etc, etc, there’s nothing, absolutely nothing that compares to the beautiful gift of being in His presence in a beautiful and intimate connection, even if for just a few minutes. 

This morning I had lots of things going through my mind and the last few weeks have also been quite different due to the fact that in a matter of very little time we found ourselves buying a new house and making arrangements to move and close on our mortgage loan and all that fun stuff. 

And the craziness that those events bring to our lives and the adjustments and the details can make someone go crazy, and lose focus, or get all turn around!!!

And i have felt that way for sure. Not only does someone have to deal with the personal, everyday, regular life events with your own family things, like moving and teaching and parenting and attitudes and teenagers and little babies, schedules, practices, games, homework, and all that jazz. But then people have jobs, whether it’d be a teacher, a construction worker, contractor, pilot, doctor, banker, restaurant owner, pastor, etc. You have mortgages, loans, bills, expenses, car problems, etc. 

And it all is legitimate life things. We cannot avoid them. We cannot forsake them per se. We cannot hide from them or wait for someone else to take care of them. 

IT IS JUST LIFE!

So, how can we expect to have time to reflect, to meditate, to slow down, to think about and to allow God to make himself known to us? How can we develop a sweet, close, intimate and meaningful relationship with the creator of our souls who so desperately desires us and pursues us? How can we, in the midst of what we know as LIFE, experience this “abundant life” and “intimacy” that he calls us into and offers and promises?

As crazy as you think this might sound, i know and believe that it is possible to experience this everyday. It is not always easy, and to be honest, sometimes it escapes me and i get caught up in the busyness of life and miss the beauty of these “windows of opportunity” that are available to me everyday.

But His word encourages us to stop, to slow down, to pause, to make time to allow God to help us become AWARE of His sweet love and presence. And it doesn’t have to be this mystical experience or “weird” out of this world instance. Rather, it is a practice that can become a habit as we learn to tune our hearts with the melody, the song, the tune being played everyday in the little details. 

The practice i am talking about is the practice of believing and choosing to see everything though the lens of God’s word and His creation as it speaks to us in the very small things of life. 

Training our hearts to lift our eyes to heaven in quietness and to let His all encompassing glory to surround us and embrace us as we take that little time. 

Yes, life keeps going. Life is knocking at our door, banging on the doors of our hearts for our attention. All the things we talked about before. And they’re all necessary. But guess what? They are not the things that give us life. And they’ll always be there. They’re not going away. They demand our attention. They demand our all. But they have absolutely no power to fill us, to fulfill us, to give us life, joy and love and peace. They only take from us. And if we’re constantly being drained by these things, where are we being filled up or what are we filling our hearts and minds and souls with? Where is our source? 

Yes, we need to work to make money to provide for our families. Yes, we need to work in order to see things happen. Yes, we need to drive here and there to bring our kids to their activities. Yes, we need to take care of al these things. 

But there’s one that knows all these things, and that we need all these things. He said it in his word…”i know you need all these things, but seek first the kingdom of God and its righteousness, and all these other things will be added and given to you…”

But we need to believe this. We need to trust. We need to embrace the truth of His all-sufficient provision for us, our families and our well being. We need to believe that if we take the time to be with him, to pause, to stop, to meditate, to be in His presence, that it is NOT WASTED TIME. That He will take that time and multiply the supply to our every need according to HIS RICHES IN GLORY.

What awesome promises he gives us. But for the love of donuts, will we finally be brave and courageous enough to believe him and live them out???

Nothing like His presence. That’s the ONLY PLACE WHERE WE CAN BE COMPLETE!!!

He told Martha…”Martha, Martha, you are worried about al these things, but only one thing is necessary, and Mary has chosen the right thing…”

TO BE IN HIS PRESENCE. Let’s take the time today to be with Him, even if it is just a little “window” of time. It will be special. And once you taste and see that the Lord is good, I pray you will get hooked and addicted to the experience.

THE REALITY OF OUR JOURNEY - JESUS AND HIS DISCIPLES

JESUS, HIS DISCIPLES AND HOW LONG IT TAKES

LOOKING AT THE TIME JESUS SPENT WITH HIS DISCIPLES, DAY IN AND DAY OUT, TAUGHT, FELLOWSHIPPED WITH, ATE WITH, SLEPT BY, WALKED WITH AND CRIED WITH, LAUGHED WITH, GOT ANGRY WITH, FRUSTRATED WITH, FELT PROUD OF, DISAPPOINTED WITH, CELEBRATED WITH, ETC.

AND FOR THREE YEARS HE FOCUSED ON THEIR LIVES, SPENT TIME TEACHING THEM, SHOWING THEM, HELPING THEM, REBUKING THEM, DISCIPLINING THEM GUIDING THEM, ETC

AND YET, AFTER THOSE THREE YEARS, THEY WERE NOT EVEN CLOSE TO WHERE THEY NEEDED TO BE. AND THEY HAD JESUS. THEY HAD THE SON OF GOD, GOD IN THE FLESH, WITH THEM ALL THE TIME!!!!!

THEIR WHOLE INFLUENCE FOR THREE LONG YEARS WAS JESUS. THEY BREATHED, LIVED, ATE, AND FOLLOWED JESUS SO CLOSELY AND YET THEIR HEARTS WERE NOT THERE YET.

THIS IS MIND BLOWING!!!! ALL THEY DID ALL DAY LONG WAS BE WITH JESUS. NOTHING ELSE.

JESUS IN THE MORNING. IN THE AFTERNOON. AT LUNCH TIME. AT DINNER TIME. AT NIGHT TIME. WHEN SLEEPING. IN THE BOAT.  ON THE SEA. AS THEY WALKED. AS THEY WITNESSED MIRACLES.

HEARD THE TRUTH FROM GOD’S MOUTH. SAW DEAD PEOPLE RISE UP. SAW HANDS OUTSTRETCHED AND HEALED. THE LAME WALK. THE BLIND SEE. THE DEMON-POSSESSED FREED. THE WHORES MADE WHOLE. THE CAPTIVES FREE.

YET, AFTER ALL THIS, THEY STILL DOUBTED. THEY FAILED. THEY SAID STUPID THINGS. THEY WANTED TO GIVE UP. THEY BETRAYED EACH OTHER. THEY BETRAYED HIM. THEY WERE SELFISH AND DESIRED EARTHLY THINGS, AND THEIR HEARTS WERE DECEIVED BY WANTING A DIFFERENT KINGDOM AND PRIVILEGES.

THEY ASKED FOR RIDICULOUS THINGS. THEY WERE AFRAID AND GOT SCARED. THEY COVETED POSITION AND STATUS. THEY WERE COWARDS.

AND THEY DIDN’T HAVE THE MEDIA, THE INTERNET, THE SOCIAL MEDIA, THE DISTRACTIONS AND BUSY SCHEDULES WE HAVE NOWADAYS.

AGAIN, ALL THEY DID WAS BE WITH JESUS.

SO, AS WE THINK ABOUT OUR ROLES HERE AS MINISTERS, AS LEADING PEOPLE IN BIBLE STUDIES, YOUTH GROUPS, CHURCHES, COUNSELING AND FAMILY MINISTRIES, MISSIONS AND OTHER EFFORTS TO PREACH THE GOSPEL AND TEACH THE TRUTH, WHAT CAN WE EXPECT AND HOW CAN WE APPROACH OUR CALLING AND THE USE OF OUR GIFTS AND HOW CAN WE MEASURE THE SUCCESS OF WHAT WE ARE INVESTING IN?

OUR CHILDREN AND YOUTH ARE SWAMPED WITH ACTIVITIES, BUSYNESS AND SCHEDULES THAT RIVAL THE ATTENTION THEY CAN GIVE TO THE MATTERS OF TRUTH. THEY ARE BEING BOMBARDED WITH ALL KINDS OF OTHER MESSAGES THAT ARE 100% OPPOSED TO THE TRUTH OF GOD’S KINGDOM AND HIS SAVING GOSPEL POWER.

WE GET A COUPLE HOURS HERE AND THERE THROUGHOUT THE WEEK TO TEACH THEM A LITTLE BIT OF TRUTH WHILE THE REST OF THEIR TIMES IN THEIR WEEKS ARE BEING FILLED WITH SOCIAL MEDIA, OTHER PEOPLE’S OPINIONS, SPORTS, ACTIVITIES, BUSY SCHEDULES, WORK, TEMPTATIONS TO MEDICATE OURSELVES, OTHER PHILOSOPHIES, LINES OF THOUGHT AND THE LIST GOES ON AND ONE AND ON.

AND SO IF JESUS’ DISCIPLES WERE WITH HIM 24/7, 365 FOR THREE YEARS AND WERE FALLING SHORT WITH ALL HIS INFLUENCE, THEN HOW CAN WE LOOK AT OUR WORLD AND CALLING AND THE PEOPLE WE’RE INVOLVED WITH AND BE ENCOURAGED AND NOT LOSE HEART AND NOT GET BOGGED DOWN BYT THE TEMPTATION TO PERFORM AND TO PRODUCE A CROP THAT IT IS NOT OUR T PRODUCE?

HOW CAN WE GET BACK TO THR TRUE THINKING AND BELIEVING THAT IT IS GOD WHO DRAWAS ALL MEN TO HIMSELF, AND THAT IS IT HIM ALONE WHO CAN PRODUCE THE CHANGE, AND THAT OUR CALLING IS NOT TO CHANGE PEOPLE AND TO TRANSFORM THEM OR TO REDEEM THEM?

OUR CALLING IS TO PRAY FOR THEM CONSTANTLY, LOVE THEM CONSISTENTLY, LISTEN TO THEM CAREFULLY, SPEAK ONLY OUT OF INVITATION FROM HIS SPIRIT AS HE LEADS US TO SPEAK THE TRUTH IN LOVE, BE REAL WITH THEM, HONEST, VULNERABLE, TRANSPARENT AND GENUINE, AND SHOW THEM THE WAY TO JESUS THROUGH OUR LOVE AND ACTIONS.

OUR YOUTH, I CANNOT PRODUCE ONE OUNCE OF CHANGE IN THEM. I CANNOT MAKE DECISIONS FOR THEM. I CANNOT BELIEVE FOR THEM. I CANNOT MAKE THEM EMBRACE WHAT I SO FIERCEFULLY EMBRACE. I CANNOT MAKE THEM FEEL WHAT I FEEL. SEE HOW I SEE. BELIEVE HOW I BELIEVE.

BUT IF I CAN LIVE MY LIFE MODELING AND REALLY BEING TRUE, EVEN IN MY BROKENNESS, TO WHAT I BELIEVE, THEN GOD HAS A BETTER CHANCE OF USING ME TO DRAW THEM TO HIM.

REMEMBER, WE ARE HIS BODY, HIS HANDS, HIS EARS, HIS EYES, HIS FEET, HIS VOICE, HIS LOVE, HIS HEART, HIS ARMS.

WE ARE HIS REPRESENTATION HERE ON EARTH. WE HAVE NO POWER. WE ARE ONLY VESSELS. WE ARE ONLY CONDUITS. LET’S BE FILLED WITH HIM SO THAT WE CAN BE POURED OUT ON TO OTHERS TO BLESS, TO LOVE, TO LISTEN, TO EMBRACE AND HUG, TO FORGIVE, TO ENCOURAGE, TO WIPE TEARS AWAY, TO COMFORT BROKEN SOULS, TO BIND UP THE WOUNDED AND BROKEN HEARTED, TO WELCOME THE BROKEN, AND TO LIFT UP HIS NAME.

AMD REMEMBER TO NOT GET ANXIOUS ABOUT NUMBERS, RESULTS, PERFORMANCE AND OTHER TRAPS LIKE THOSE.

I HAVE TO REMEMBER THIS EVERYDAY AS I LIVE OUT THE CALL IN OUR LIVES RIGHT NOW TO LEAD THE YOUTH. I ONLY GET A COUPLE HOURS A WEEK WITH THEM, AND THE TRUTH I SHARE WITH THEM HAS MORE POWER THAN ANY OTHER LIES THEY GET FILLED WITH THE REST OF THE TIME. BUT I HAVE TO BE PATIENT. I HAVE TO BE OBEDIENT. I HAVE TO BE FAITHFUL. AND I HAVE TO LOVE ABOVE ALL THINGS.

QUITE THE CHALLENGE, DON’T YOU THINK???

KEEPING ME HUMBLE...GOD'S SENSE OF HUMOR

***READ UNTIL THE END TO HEAR MY SILLY STORY***

I love the way that our Dad likes to mess around with our lives in His own way and in many times in a very humorous way. I love it when we get to a place where we might think we are doing really good and then he allows little things about us, quirks if you might say, things that really get to us and that are just minor and insignificant, yet they can cause, they have the potential, of throwing everything off and rubbing us the wrong way, making us feel and act in ways that STILL REFLECT THE BROKENNESS OF OUR SOULS and our need for Him truly in every hour, every minute of everyday, for everything we face or experience.

Let me explain this to you from my own experience as i make myself vulnerable in this blog. Cause believe me you, writing blogs has been an amazing experience of God's revelation of truth to my soul, and i know sometimes it can feel like even as i write, that I have arrived or that somehow I have attained these things. Let me be clear in this...THESE BLOGS AND WORDS I WRITE ARE PRIMARILY FOR ME, AND DAY IN AND DAY OUT THEY ARE A CONSTANT REMINDER TO PUT INTO PRACTICE EVERY SINGLE BIT OF REVELATION I SENSE GOD GIVING ME. So, as I write these things, I can truly confess that they affect me first, and that in NO WAY have I master any or all of these things. But I do love meditating and thinking and asking God to show me as I go through my day where these truths need to be applied. The goal is to try to be aware of everything that happens everyday and how these truths can affect the outcome of my words, actions and plans.

So, my example of vulnerability comes from thinking about one of the ways that I start my day praying. One of my prayers I pray all the time is that everything I do, feel, hear and say would be flowing from my knowing I am loved by my Father, so that love is the motivation of all I am, do, say and think and feel!

Sounds pretty pious, right? And since I pray that everyday, I should be a pro at it. But I hate to say this...I AM NOT!

I can truly say that more often than not His truth is right on my face convicting me and that His spirit in me helps me consistently to choose truth instead of lies. Lies that I hear through filters I have developed based on a false identity and concept of myself and my Father. When I am not truly believing I am loved and accepted and wanted and valued by my Father I begin to hear and feel things that make me feel the opposite. How so? Through other people's actions, words, and behaviors towards me.

When I am so focused on me, my needs, my wants, my feelings, my selfish desires and when I am so caught up in making others revolve around me and I can't see past my own nose. But let me say this...if I am tempted to live this way, then I'm pretty sure others are living that way too. And what does this mean? That in the same measure that I live selfishly, others are capable of living the same way and failing at noticing others in their lives as they make their way through their everyday focusing only on themselves. 

And this can cause a series of broken relationships, feelings, hurts and wounds, as we do and say things that hurt each other. 

Or we are unable to forgive, to overlook offenses and to love others out of a heart that rests in the peace of knowing that no matter what, ultimately, we're LOVED and wanted and accepted in our Father's love. And this should be more than enough. But many times it is not.

So, back to my example that I want to share of my own life. If I'm going to write truth, then I need to share with you as well how this is affecting me in practical ways.

1 Corinthians 13:1 starts by Paul saying that I could be the greatest dude in all of earth, the most gifted, most spiritual, most knowledgeable and charismatic, but if I do not love, then I might as well be the biggest douchebag in the universe. Why? Because if I have no love, then it don't matter. It is worth nothing. Because it is not God's way of living. He could care less about our accomplishments, our gifts, our grandiose feats or our sacrifices and offerings we could ever bring. What He cares about is if we are reflecting His character and shining His glory here on earth. And to Him, living out of an overflow of His love is what matters.

So, then He goes on to say what love truly is. And you and I both know the passage. Patience. Kindness. "Love isn’t envious, doesn’t boast, brag, or strut about. There’s no arrogance in love; 5 it’s never rude, crude, or indecent—it’s not self-absorbed. Love isn’t easily upset. Love doesn’t tally wrongs 6 or celebrate injustice; but truth—yes, truth—is love’s delight! 7 Love puts up with anything and everything that comes along; it trusts, hopes, and endures no matter what. 8 Love will never become obsolete."

So, as we look at this list, I gotta tell you this story that just happened last night, in my own life, my marriage and relationship with my wife in the eve of our 16th year wedding anniversary just to show you how flawed I still am and how pathetic my heart and soul can still feel and act. 

This is where I become vulnerable and open up to you about my silly "spirituality"

We just closed on a new house that goes beyond our wildest dreams, and we are still riding the awe of saying "how did this happen?" "is it truly OUR house???"

So, last night was the first night we could move in and bring in some stuff into the house. We have been all waiting anxiously to move in. The kids have been so patient and yet so excited to finally have their own room and a big place to enjoy!!! We have been really happy and content with our other place, but this is God going the extra mile to bless our socks off and blow our minds and hearts away.

Anyways, last night was also Joe's last basketball season game here in Hayward and also Danny's first basketball game of the season for High School in Cumberland, so Leah stayed home to watch Joe and I went to Cumberland to watch Danny.
In between running around after school for Doctor's appointments and picking kids up, we took time to bring some basic stuff to the house so we could stay there last night. One of those basic things are toothbrushes and toiletries, right? 

Well, after I got back from Cumberland late that evening and after picking Danny up from school after he got back, we went home and were so excited to be there. And when the time came for me to go to sleep, I looked for my toothbrush. So I looked in a few baskets, our bathroom, the kids's bathroom, Leah's purse and everywhere else I could think of. NO TOOTHBRUSH. There were 15 other toothbrushes there, Leah's, the kids' and all kinds of other things, but not my toothbrush. How could this be??? Why was my toothbrush not there? 

No big deal, right? OHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! BIG, BIG, BIG DEAL!!!!!!!!!

Immediately i felt offended, hurt, unseen and bothered, frustrated, angry and upset, very upset. How could she not think of me? How could she not show me she cared about me by thinking of me when she was picking up the toiletries of our whole family? Am i not important? Why didn't she think of me? This is what bothered me the most. And it truly made me upset. Not yelling at her upset (thankfully i am past those things), not fuming at her and waking her up to get my toothbrush from the other house upset (how sweet and mature I am, right???) but a "how can she do this to me?" upset. It truly messed with me. I really wanted to drill in to her the message that what she had done (or not done) was so unloving, selfish, and that after 16 years of marriage she was beginning to just not care anymore about the little details that keep our love going. I did tell her this morning that i try to think of her all the time, and that thinking of her makes me realize and notice things that matter to her and then because i am aware of those things then I make sure i take care of some of them so that she feels seen, loved and valued. 

But my point is not that. My point is this. When it talks about love not keeping a record of wrongs, that it doesn't brag, it is not self seeking, or not self absorbed or easily offended, i can't think of how many times we go through life putting expectations on people based on what we think they should do to make us feel loved, valued and seen, and how many times these people and these expectations we put on them will fail us, and we will be in the position of potentially being hurt, offended, and wounded. And yet, this is not the way of God our Father. Other people and our expectations of them should not be where we place our hopes, our value, our worth and our meaning. God, our Father, and only God can satisfy the deepest longing of our hearts, not others. I know and understand that if someone is supposed to love us and love should or could be expected and it is not delivered or lived out from them to us it can be tough and hard and challenging. But, in the end, what we need to focus on, meditate upon, and learn to live in is the knowledge and the experience of the one love that never fails!!!

"YOUR LOVE NEVER FAILS, IT NEVER GIVES UP, IT RUNS OUT ON ME"

So, Leah forgot my toothbrush. Oh well, "ni modo". That's spanish for "it's ok, whatever, it really doesn't matter".

For in the end, what matters is my ability to love, to be at peace, to look past the little, silly, stupid things that, at times, because of our lack of understanding and knowledge of God's love for us, can seem so big and so hurtful. 

And in doing so, I can abide and truly live out of an abundance of love towards others, and whether this love is reciprocated or not, I don't need it, cause I am truly found complete in the love of my Father. And that should be all I need, it should be more than enough, right???

WHAT DO YOU THINK? In which ways is God encouraging you to live out His love today as you embrace His love for you and this love enables you to love others UNCONDITIONALLY? This is His way. To love with no strings attached. Can we do that?

What's your lifeline?

I've been reading this book called "Abiding in Christ" by Andrew Murray, and I'm sure I've mentioned it before.
But I cannot tell you enough the truths and the insight these words, based entirely on the word of God, are bringing into my soul. They're SO RICH!

Yet, I am the first one to continue to confess that it is not the reading and knowing of these words that has any effect on anyone, but the embracing, the meditating, the abiding, the mulling over and the deep, consuming passion to take these words and allow them to sink in and have the effect they're meant to have on my heart that will make the difference in mine and anyone's life!

The word of God needs to be something that we look at with a prayerful and honest heart and attitude. This is the INSPIRED, GOD-BREATHED WORD OF THE LIVING GOD, OUR FATHER. IT IS HOW HE SPEAKS TO US. And it says right there, in His word, that it is meant to penetrate, cut through, dig deep, expose, and reveal the deepest, darkest, most shameful and ugly things in our lives so that we can experience life, peace, freedom and true love and abundance.

His word is full of promises, liberating truth, wisdom, revelation, understanding, guidance, common sense and insight that is meant to give us the tools to experience this season, this life, this journey the way it was meant to be experienced and lived out. To go through this journey with all its challenges, trials, mountains to climb and valleys to go through, painful moments and out-of-this world thrills and joys in the assurance and the peace that our Father in heaven is in full control of it all, and that in everything He truly is working His best for each one of us.

To realize that His truth and ways, as backwards as they might initially look and sound like, when we take the time to meditate and think about them, they actually make the most sense.

To lose it all to gain it all. To give it all up to receive it all. To die so that we might live. To empty ourselves that we might be filled. To give so that we can receive. To bless when we are cursed. To love those who hate us. To believe before we see and feel.

Think about those things. They're so opposite of what we learn as we grow up, as we go through life. And then we wonder why does the world seem to lost, broken, backwards and hopeless?

It's all there. He shows us. He tells us. He warns us. He cries out to us!!!

So, when you wake up in the morning, what is your source that you go to? What do you stake your life on? What's the place that you go to to find everything you need to face the day's challenges and events?

Where do you put your hope, your trust, your well-being? Where do you go to to find true peace, meaning, worth, joy, love, forgiveness, your identity?

Dad, may you be the only place we recognize, embrace and pursue as the source for any and every single one of our needs. May we believe that truly there's nowhere and nothing else that could satisfy and fulfill our heart's deepest longings and desires. That we will realize and believe that we were created to only find our meaning, worth and purpose in you and you alone! In Jesus' name...AMEN!

JESUS'S COMING - WHAT DOES IT MEAN???

ADVENT MEANS "COMING"

What's coming?

Who's coming?

Jesus IS COMING!!!

And what does that mean for us today?

What is His coming meant to do?

What effect does it have or should it have in our lives?

IT
CHANGES
EVERYTHING!!!

IT INTERRUPTS
IT DISTURBS
IT MESSES EVERYTHING UP
IT DISRUPTS

This is what it meant for Mary. And this is what we need to realize that it's meant to do in our lives!

Jesus's coming changes everything!!!

The amazing resolution, faith, trust and surrender of Mary’s heart to God’s will is amazing, and the understanding of His will being way higher, more important, and of more weight than our own little stories, passions, desires and plans!!!

God’s story, plans, purposes and will is beyond us, greater than us, than our own little worlds, and yet, in it, we are invited to be part of something greater, and in the journey, experience His life the way we were created to experience it! In yielding to His will and story, our lives will fill the puzzle parts that we were created to fill and in that filling we will be fulfilled cause it is only in that fulfilling that we will be wholly complete!!!

Mary understood that. What could possibly be better, more exciting, more fulfilling and more life giving than joining and being part of God’s greater story? What other plans could Mary come up with for her life that would be more exciting than fulfilling God’s will? Are you kidding me? Being the mother of Jesus?

Could you imagine the adventure? The craziness? The wild ride? Yes, ups and downs. Challenges. Trials. Mountains to climb. Uncertainty. Confusion at times. Doubts. Questions. But it’s all part of the journey. A journey that has been designed to bring glory to His name through our lowly, humble and insignificant existence. Insignificant if it were not for His invitation to join Him!!!

WHEN JESUS COMES, HE INTERRUPTS, DISTURBS, MESSES UP THE NORMAL, DAILY, ROUTINE LIFE. HE GETS IN THE WAY, CHANGES EVERYTHING UP, AND SHOWS US A WHOLE, COMPLETE DIFFERENT WAY.

HE COMES AND NOTHING GOES ON AS NORMAL. OR IT SHOULDN’T. HIS COMING, HIS PRESENCE, HIS MESSAGE, HIS ENTERING OUR WORLD, HEAVEN MEETING EARTH LIKE A SLOPPY WET KISS AFFECTS EVERY ASPECT, EVERY AREA, EVERY DECISION, EVERY PLAN, EVERYTHING!!!

THAT’S WHY WE NEED TO STOP, PAUSE, PONDER, MEDITATE, AND WEIGH OUR OPTIONS AND CONTEMPLATE THE OUTCOME OF OUR DECISION OF WHAT WE ARE GOING TO DO WITH THE INFORMATION AND THE CHOICES WE ARE BEING FACED WITH!

THAT’S WHY MARY’S RESPONSE IS SO IMPORTANT TO US!!! AND WHAT DID SHE DO AT THE END?

SHE YIELDED.

WHY?

BECAUSE AFTER SHE CONSIDERED HER OPTIONS AND WEIGHED THEM AGAINST HER OWN WISDOM, PLANS, PURPOSES AND DESIRES AND WANTS, SHE REALIZED THAT WHAT GOD WAS OFFERING WAS FAR BETTER, MORE FULFILLING, EXCITING, UNKNOWN, CHALLENGING, ADRENALINE FILLED AND UNCERTAIN, YET SHE COULD TRUST THAT HOWEVER AND WHATEVER END RESULT IT CAME TO BE, IT WOULD BE WAY BETTER THAN ANYTHING SHE COULD EVER COME UP WITH

AND THAT’S GOD’S INVITATION AND OFFERING TO US

WILL WE TAKE HIS SON, JESUS, AND WHAT HE MEANS AND OFFERS AND REPRESENTS, OR REJECT HIM AND GO ON WITH OUR INSIGNIFICANT, WORTHLESS, BORING, UNCREATIVE AND DULL LIVES, IGNORING THE FACT THAT WHETHER WE BELIEVE IT OR NOT, HIS COMING HAS CHANGED EVERYTHING???

THE MORE WE SEEK...

I am truly floored, in awe, shocked, grateful and moved by the love and the grace of God's relentless, furious and incessant pursuit of our hearts, our souls, our attention. He is truly calling out to any and all who will listen to His voice, inviting us to please, please, please, give Him a chance to share His heart with us, His plan, His will, His ways and His purposes. I cannot tell you enough how intense this season of my life is, a season in which I feel Him hard-pressing upon me the urge, the urgency, the importance of abiding in Him, of begging to be aware of His voice, His Spirit, His guidance, as my wife and I have been called to serve the people of the Hayward community, both young and older.

I cannot tell you enough of the many ways I feel He's sharing His truth with me. Of the many ways He's guiding my soul to more and more want to abide in His word, to read it, to research it, to meditate, to contemplate, to pause, to "Selah", to dwell upon His truth and to "Let the word of the Anointed One richly inhabit your lives. With all wisdom teach, counsel, and instruct one another. Sing the psalms, compose hymns and songs inspired by the Spirit, and keep on singing—sing to God from hearts full and spilling over with thankfulness." Colossians 3:16 (THE VOICE version).

What does it mean to pause? To Selah? And why should we do it?

Here's an attempt to define what this word means, and after you read it, then let me explain what I believe God is nudging us, encouraging us and exhorting us to do in these latter days.

Perhaps the best way to think of selah is a combination of all these meanings. The Amplified Bible adds “pause and calmly think about that” to each verse where selah appears. When we see the word selah in a psalm or in Habakkuk 3, we should pause to carefully weigh the meaning of what we have just read or heard, lifting up our hearts in praise to God for His great truths. “All the earth bows down to you; they sing praise to you, they sing the praises of your name. Selah!” (Psalm 66:4).

I feel His calling to "return to His word" is stronger today than ever before. We need to STOP, and I mean truly STOP deceiving ourselves thinking that our political and religious thoughts, and our own "bias" and "individual" views on hot topics will make any difference in the lives of those around us. Brothers and sisters, remember what His word says when it says "For the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men." 1 Corinthians 1:25. We think our opinion, our wisdom and our point of view if full of wisdom, yet Paul teaches us that "For I decided that while I was with you I would forget everything except Jesus Christ, the one who was crucified." 1 Corinthians 2:2

What we need to do is to return to the practice, the habit, the discipline, if we ever have experienced it, and if not, then ask God to draw our hearts, (cause in and of ourselves we can't even muster up the strength to do it) to stop, to pause, to think about, to weigh all aspects of life, every circumstance, every trial, challenge, emotion, situation, sickness, and to allow His word, His truth, His spirit, His voice and His wisdom to cover our hearts and ears and allow us to respond, to make decisions, to face anything and everything that comes our way with the tools He offers us.

That's THE ONLY way to overcome. That's the ONLY WAY to have victory, to triumph, to live out His abundance and peace, and the ONLY WAY to see change, transformation, healing and freedom. Really friends, there's NO OTHER WAY!!!

The only way to see marriages restored, to see lives healed, man leading their homes, women rising up to love their families and guide them, youth committing their lives to Jesus in a real, deep and genuine way, depression being overcome, suicide rates going down, racism fading away, broken lives restored regardless of what sin they're in and what kind of medicating they're into, their addictions, and their hangups.

The only way to see churches becoming who they're supposed to be. The only way to see truth being brought back to schools. Prayer. Bible reading. Abortion stopped. Safe sex practicing turning into "no sex before marriage" commitment.

The only way to see our society's moral compass coming back to where it needs to be. The only way for our country to return to God. It will have to be as every single one of us as individuals make a conscientious commitment to RETURN TO HIS WORD!!!

Like the story of King Josiah. Read it for yourself. And BE AMAZED! See what letting God's word have its full effect on us can result in. Here's the link to the passage. GO ahead. Read it. Pause. Think. Meditate. Contemplate. Let it sink. Let is dwell richly in you. Let God speak.

2 Kings 22. https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2+Kings+22

His name is Jesus!

So, let's get back to the core of our belief. Please, please let's return to Jesus!!

Jesus!!!

Is he onto something?

https://youtu.be/zng2piCy4RA

Do you think he's onto something? Do you agree? Disagree? What are your thoughts?

Onto something?

THE DIFFERENCE

PRAYER THOUGHTS NOV 1st

As we were praying this morning the topic of relying on God and God alone came to me, and i felt God speaking to me from the knowledge of believers in other countries and why is it that their faith seems a lot more real and active and alive and relevant than ours. 

Why is it that it seems like their spiritual lives, their everyday lives, even though under pressure, under attack, under challenges, trials and difficulties, seem more alive, more full of joy, peace, love, kindness, and just an overall contentedness and wholeness than ours?

What is it about their faith that seems so different and real than ours?

I believe that one of the reasons that they experience God in a different way than we do is because most of the time their situations and the availability of “other gods” is not available to them. They have no financial security. they have no counseling services. No medicine experts. No psychologists, no big shopping malls, no 150 channels, no sports figures and big rock bands. no great educational systems. No running water and air conditioned places, no heated homes, no big luxurious houses and vehicles, vacation spots, etc. They live very simple, rural, humble, scarce, shaved off lives without the temptations of other gods screaming at their lives and hearts. What they have is trouble without the option for bandaids. 

They have to rely on faith because most of what they can see is not hopeful. Most of what they see is already depressing. Hopeless. Dark. Oppressing. At times even demonic.

So they need to believe in something greater and higher than what they can see. And God becomes something they embrace and cling to because they know that apart from the divine they have no hope, no joy, no chance for life, freedom, peace, comfort, etc. 

And for us that is not the case or the reality. We have so many choices, options to try out before we come to God and believe that he can do anything about it. We try on our own not once, twice or three times, but countless times before we come to the end of our rope, and then we might turn our eyes to heaven and might try crying out to God, still many times in complete disbelief and doubt that he might even care or even be able to do something about it.

How sad is our situation when the one source, the one place where we can find all we need is relegated to the last option and even then we might not even try it.

And when he does show, we fall in love with him all over again only to be choked up again pretty soon by the temptations and things of this life, the empty and relentless pursuits that leave us hollow, tired, exhausted and spent without the energy or strength to be who God created us to be in our families as mothers, fathers, sons and daughters, teachers, doctors, workers, lawyers, etc. 

When we talk about revival i don’t believe it will come like we think will come. It won’t be a magic trick performed by God in a prayer meeting. We are far too gone for that. It will come as he brings conviction to individuals and communities all over this country and world that we need to return to His word, to the true message of the gospel and we allow His spirit to use this message, the simple message of the gospel to transform us, to change us, purify us, rebuke us, reshape us and then empower us to boldly live it out!

Until we realize that our culture has taught us that we don’t need God and has educated us and discipled us into the belief that we have all we need and that we can be self-sufficient apart from God, until we realize we’re living under the influence of satan’s lie that says we cannot trust God and that we “can BE LIKE GOD”, we will not see anything happening but the continued debacle of our society and our world!!!

There’s a reason why God tells us the story of the Israelites and the Exodus. He had to lead them to a place of complete dependance on Him so that they would truly become his people, and even after everything he did for them and how he kept them safe, fed them, provided for them and loved them, they still wished for Egypt. 

Crazy, uh???

When we think about the people around the world and see their situation we feel bad and sad and we pray for them, but honestly, I think even when we hear that they’re being massacred and killed and murdered, they die happier, fuller, and more fulfilled people than us. And why? Because they have experienced the verse that we so often sing but do not live “i once was lost, shackled, bound, enslaved, but now i am found, freed, liberated…was blind, ignorant, alone, depressed, hopeless and finished, but now i see, know, hope and am alive!!!”

What do you think???

CAN'T SAY IT ENOUGH - WE NEED TO RETURN TO HIS WORD

As I watched this video (and I have watched it a couple times) I am so thankful that there are people out there, leaders, who are committed to pause, stop, think, meditate, look deep into God's word and allow it to speak to us, to teach us, to impart truth to our cores and to transform us.
It is a trait, an art, a tool that we so seldom and rarely use or practice anymore. But you can see, as he is asked the question, with what care, respect and quietness he gives his answer. And you can tell he's being cautious as to what he's about to say. And the words that come out of his mouth are so wise. Why? Not because he's a great speaker and he's so smart and awesome and gifted and he knows it all.
No!
The reason his answer is so wise its because it points back to God, His word and his wisdom. We are so quick to give our thoughts, our answers, our insights, from our perceptions and conjectures, and we post all kinds of opinions and non-sense in the social media sites without even thinking of the repercussions and impact that those things we say will have, specially if and when they come based on our own feelings, views, lenses and filters that we see the world through, instead of the word of God.
Brothers and sisters, what is happening to us???

When approached with questions about any issues that are out there and that are relevant to our culture, whether about religion, politics, social or anything, how are we answering them? Are we pointing people to God's word and truth? Or are we merely drilling people with our own wisdom?

Let's be careful that we don't do the latter.
Francis Chan is giving us an example here on how to approach individuals that have real questions and that need real answers.

He's right. Do we believe God is our creator? And if we do, how's that affecting our every day lives? Our thoughts? Emotions? Opinions? Views?
And if He is who he says he is and we believe Him, then we will believe His word. And if we study his word then we can find out the truth that will set us free. We will yield and surrender and accept His truth no matter what. And if we don't, then it's a personal choice.

Let's stop arguing and fighting and putting all our flawed, bias, and personally crafted opinions on social media sites and let's start by pointing people to the truth of God's word as we ourselves commit to doing so in our own lives first. What do you say???

Pointing to God and His word!

THIS IS WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT

As you watch this, let it speak to you about what's the real deal, and THIS MESSAGE is what we need to go back to. Until we let this message mess with us so deeply that it alters all of our worldview, we will never be or experience what God has intended for us since the beginning.

THIS IS WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT

As you watch this, let it speak to you about what's the real deal, and THIS MESSAGE is what we need to go back to. Until we let this message mess with us so deeply that it alters all of our worldview, we will never be or experience what God has intended for us since the beginning.

CAN YOU RELATE?

HIS WORK OR MY EFFORTS?

AS FAR AS THE EAST IS FROM THE WEST

“Jesus show me just how far the east is from the west cause i can’t bear to see the man in me rising up in me again”

Do you know the feeling of shame, hopelessness, anxiety and despair that comes whenever you feel like you are not measuring up, like you are falling short, like you need to try harder, do better, be holier, pray more, read more, go to church more, be nicer, etc?

That feeling of guilt that surrounds you sometimes when you remember your sins, your shortcomings? Like when you yelled at your kids in frustration? Or when you said something mean out of anger and pain to someone that hurt you? Or when you forgot to keep a promise with someone and you let them down? Or maybe when you did that thing in secret you struggle with and that you promised you wouldn’t do again? That secret sin you’ve been struggling with that no one else knows about but that haunts you and makes you feel so crappy that you can’t shake it off and have victory over it?

I cringe at the thought of me going back to some of the things God has liberated me from, freed me from, and healed me from. So, when i see some of these things wanting to rise their ugly heads again, I fear, i shutter, i get anxious and stressed out and allow for the feeling of hiding and running away to fill my heart and mind. 

Do you know what i am talking about? Maybe you are different than me. Maybe you never hear words of accusation, guilt, torment and shame that make you want to hide, reach for some kind of comfort, make you anxious, angry at times, frustrated with the way things are going. Maybe you are able to quiet all those voices that tempt you to run away from God and make you and me hide from Him like Adam and Eve did when they disobeyed. Maybe you are able to escape and triumph over the temptation to avoid coming to God because we have come to the “conclusion” that “i am so flawed, so broken, so messy and so rebellious that there’s no way God could or wold take me in and forgive me for the 1000000000000000th time”.

“I’ve failed so many times…i’ve done it again” 

And we feel the need to try harder, to make more promises and sacrifices, to try an appease this God we think of as a strict ruler, a righteous judge and mad and angry Father, who is disappointed with us and looks at us with this “OMG, you did it again” look on his face. 

So we say “I’ll go to church more” or “i’ll pray more” or “i’ll read the bible more” or “i’ll try harder at being nicer, kinder, more generous, etc”

But it doesn’t last. Soon after that we fail again and there we go all over again. Vicious cycle. 

And it will never end. Because that is what it is…A CYCLE. Round and round it goes.

So, what’s the answer?

I have been reading this book called “Abiding in Christ” by Andrew Murray. And it has been a beautiful read and an amazing tool for me to remember how it all works. How my relationship with Jesus works. How His freedom and love and forgiveness and justification and redemption and restoration and sanctification works.

There’s so much i could write about this, but i feel like these couple thoughts he shares with us sums up what i am trying to say here. 

All our striving to be better, to be holier, to grow, to make up for our shortcomings and to please our Father (cause we think he needs to be pleased with our performance and our good works and deeds) will never get us anywhere. We cannot do anything on our own. He says it In John 15:5 - “Apart from me you can do nothing!!!”

We cannot be better. We cannot become holier, We cannot please him with our works and deeds. We cannot appease His righteous wrath. His word says in Romans 2:5 But because you are stubborn and refuse to turn from your sin, you are storing up terrible punishment for yourself. For a day of anger is coming, when God’s righteous judgment will be revealed. 6 He will judge everyone according to what they have done. 7 He will give eternal life to those who keep on doing good, seeking after the glory and honor and immortality that God offers. 8 But he will pour out his anger and wrath on those who live for themselves, who refuse to obey the truth and instead live lives of wickedness. 9 There will be trouble and calamity for everyone who keeps on doing what is evil—for the Jew first and also for the Gentile.[a] 10 But there will be glory and honor and peace from God for all who do good—for the Jew first and also for the Gentile. 11 For God does not show favoritism.

So, today, i cannot rely on anything good i can accomplish or do. I CAN’T! I cannot measure up to His standards. I cannot win His approval. 

So, then, how can i find peace in the midst of the turmoil, confusion, guilt, shame, torment, and struggle in my heart and mind? How can i find rest in the midst of all the accusations that come my way, about who I am and what i’ve done?

I need to remember that His sacrifice has been the only thing that has satisfied God’s ultimate standard and His wrath has been appeased and His verdict has been paid for and our freedom has been bought and our salvation has been granted and our inheritance and adoption has been established and our forgiveness has been made possible. 

And this is His doing. Ephesians 2:1-10 declare this truth. And verse 9 sums it up. “Not by our own works…”

So, what Andrew Murray says is this “remembering that what we do is only the manifestation of what God is doing in us. The establishing in Christ is HIS WORK. He accomplishes it by stirring us to watch, wait and work. But this he can do with power only as we stop interrupting Him by our self-working, as we accept in faith the dependent posture that honors Him and opens the heart to let Him work”

You see, friends, even the work of us growing and maturing and being victorious over anything in our lives comes from Him. It is His work in us, as we yield to His power and His will everyday, that will enable us to overcome. It is as we learn to abide in Him, trust His work in us, become fully surrendered to His love, and trust Him with all of our hearts that we will be able to experience the true transforming power of His spirit in us and that we will be able to become more and more like Him in our everyday lives!

Be encouraged today. You cannot do it alone and on your own. You were not meant to. 

What you and I were meant to do is to return to Him, to abide in Him, to listen, to BE IN HIS PRESENCE, and as we do this, He will lovingly mold us, transform us and change us into His perfect image. 

Unthinkable You - Louie Giglio Sermon Jam

This sums it up in a nutshell. We need to go back to finding our identity, and it can only be found in who God says we are!!!

Indescribable by Louie Giglio and Matt Redman

We're missing the gift of awe and wonder. Thanks to Louie Giglio for reminding us of these amazing things that make our heart connect to the bigger picture!

A WINDOW INTO OUR HERE AND NOW - IGNITE

A LITTLE VIDEO OF LAST NIGHT'S GAME

I am letting you all know my heart is full of all kinds of feelings right now, all good and exciting, and at the same time humbling and awe-inspiring.

I am almost speechless as I sit here and try to write this email. I'm speechless cause there's so much to say, so much in my heart that I believe God is speaking, doing, revealing, stirring...I am going literally crazy!!!

I know it might come as a surprise that I would be at a loss for words, but I'll try to make it up to you as i put my thoughts down in this email.

LOL!

God at work at church in the youth and the worship team and in people's lives altogether is so beautiful. And i am so thankful that i can truly confess that it's truly been Him and Him alone doing this. I am so thankful that I can truly confess that it is Him doing all of this work, and feel so blessed and so humbled that He is so kind as to invite us, share with us what he is doing and allow us to be a part of it. To know that in and of ourselves we cannot make anything happen, come up with great ideas or device some great kind of program that will impact, change and touch the lives of the people we have been called to serve. i am so glad that we have no power at all whatsoever. That we are worthless without His power.

You have heard me say this over and over again and I truly stand by it 100%. We cannot do anything apart from Him. It s only Him that will draw all men to him. It is him who produces in us to will and to do. It is His spirit that leads us, speaks to us, reminds us, prompt us and communicates with us our Father's heart.

So, with all that said, I am so thankful to be able to share a few things that are happening as praise and a testimony to how he's moving and as an ENCOURAGEMENT TO KEEP LIVING AND SERVING AND LOVING PEOPLE THIS WAY as Spider Lake Church.

The last few weeks I have been anxious on Wednesday nights as I think and pray about youth group and the kids and the night and the worship and the message and everything else that goes on there. I confess that the peace and rest i had been experiencing in the knowing that i cannot and will never be able to control what the kids think, how they feel, whether they like me or us, what we are doing, and letting go of all that pressure and just enjoying the ride with God and His work had left me a little bit, and i began to feel a little bit of the "performing pressure". The pressure to say the right things, do the "right things", crack down on worship and prayer and bible study and raise the expectations on these kids to behave better, to pay better attention, to want God as much as i do, and to begin to see things they way i see them.

All these things that only bring stress, anxiety and the temptation to control, to take over, to try to manipulate things. Manipulate the worship times, the prayers, the lessons, etc.

Wow, how sickening does that sound to me? Very. Yet it is always a temptation.

And last night, or yesterday, I was glad God was so kind to remind me of this situation and helped me be at peace.

It is crazy, though, how easy we can fall into that "performance" temptation.

So, I will share with you what has been transpiring with our High Schoolers and then a couple amazing things that happened last night as well.

I have had only three students the last couple weeks, but it has been good. They've been tired and not super 'hyped" to be there necessarily, and not because of anything else but the tiredness and the craziness of  everything they have going on. But even in the midst of that "resistance" or "apathy" we have had some really good discussions about our beliefs, what we believe, why we believe it, the purpose of our existence and what truly matters in life.

It's an exploration that I believe is necessary so that we can truly know what we believe and why we believe it. And all of this so that we truly have a strong foundation and an anchor in our souls.

Yesterday it was a night of honesty again, where a couple of students, based on what we were exploring, asked and shared some things that brought us closer to truth about God and who He is and how He sees us and how He wants to relate to us.

Next few times I believe We will beginning to truly look at the basics of Christian life or the gospel, our core beliefs and then as we go through them the idea is to arrive at a conclusion every time of whether we're going to believe it and embrace it, all with the purpose of strengthening and building this foundation.

But It is also SOOOOO refreshing to see Danielle with her class when i come out and to see how engaged those kids are and how good they seem to be responding and participating. I loved hearing my daughter praying to close and hearing her prayer. Thanks Danielle for investing in those kids. It is worth it!

And then to hear what happened in Leah's group. I'll keep it short but basically as they were going through their lesson some of them said, "wait, i had never heard this, or understood this, but, this needs a response" I know i am paraphrasing it, but i think it is basically what this kid said, and so Leah gave them the option to ask more questions and to respond if they wanted to. And what was the response needed? To ask Jesus into their hearts and give them over to Him. And so 4 of them did!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, 4 young kids gave their hearts over to Jesus, and the best part is that they did it fully knowing what they were doing, and it was their decision based on the truth they had heard! This gives me the chills and brings tears to my eyes. It sounds like the new testament church and the Holy Spirit at work.

It was Him convicting them, leading them, drawing them near to Him. This is what we are praying for. This is what our hearts cry for. His Spirit drawing all men and women to Him.

So, as of last night, there are 4 newborn brothers and sisters in our youth group!!!

How beautiful and how sweet. As i remember singing "Amazing grace" last night i can't help but think that God was preparing this all along.

And after all, to be able to just have so much fun with a game of charades and the "mannequin challenge"...THANKS ANGIE!

The kids love the games!!! AND SO DO I! We need them. They want them. They ask me every night.

And to know that the kids feel loved and at home at IGNITE makes me all the more passionate about just letting God and letting go of all expectations.

It is not easy, but please, I ask you, to help me pray that we will continually be reminded to yield to Him, to get out of His way and to just bow our knees everyday in complete surrender and allow him full say and do in our youth group and church as well.

So, let us not give up loving and being there for these kids.

And for that matter, let us not give up loving and living our lives so that they truly reflect the character of our Father and Jesus as we let Him for it in our hearts!

Have a blessed day!