It is one thing to really be inspired, to receive revelation from God, to hear and to study His word and to have His Spirit reveal things to you and then writing about them and posting them online as a means to encourage and exhort brothers and sisters in their walk with God. I love it! I feel so good and excited and blessed and thankful to receive this gift of inspiration and writing about His word and His promises and power and hope.
But it is another thing to put it into practice. To be real. To let it reach into my everyday life and different situations that i get faced with on a regular basis. Things that you and I face everyday. Choices we are faced with. Temptations. You and I are not very different. These things come in different ways or packaged differently, but they are basically all the same and have the same purpose. TO bring shame. Torment. Guilt. To make us hide. Run. Not be authentic. To excuse. To defend.
And we are faced with the choice of what we are going to do about it. What will our response be?
Today, I was faced with one of those choices earlier this morning.
This morning Gary (my lead pastor) called me to share with me how awesome he thought the Christmas program went yesterday, which i agree!
Seeing new families come and the connections that happened because of the program were God ordained. Lots of good things!
But also he called to see if we would be meeting today as we usually do on Mondays.
I told him that i had a few things going on today, some errands to run, lunch with someone and then Micah's singing thing at school and picking up my truck from the shop, etc.
So, he understood and then asked me out of curiosity who i was having lunch with.
So, for whatever reason i am still contemplating, i lied to him. OMG!!! I KNOW! I lied.
Well, kind of, i might excuse it. But really, there's no excuse. It might sound like a little lie or a white lie, but the reason i am sharing it is so that maybe it can be a blessing to you sometime down the road.
I am having lunch with someone. I am having lunch with Micah. My son. He asked me if he could have cold lunch for today and since i didn't have time this morning to make one for lunch, i told him i would just bring it over at his lunch time. Nothing wrong with it, right?
But when Gary asked me, i felt like hiding, like ashamed, like i needed to make something up of "more importance" or of more "ministerial value" so that he wouldn't think i was not "pastoral enough" or "spiritual enough" or whatever crap was going through my heart at the time.
SO i told him i was having lunch with Joe instead, and that i was doing that to be with him but that also that helped me connect with his friends. Which it is true. I have done that and i love it. Just being there and hanging out with his friends gives me the opportunity to get to know them.
But that is not the case today. So i told him that so that it sounded more "important" or "spiritual".
How silly. So, i called him back but he didn't answer so i wrote him an email and shared with him this very thing, and confessed my lie to him and repented from it.
But i thought i'd do that with you as well, cause above all things, i want to always walk in complete transparency and freedom with everyone, and this was going to be bugging me all day. I am not saying i will confess all of my stupid choices with you all the time (you don't want to know... :)))
But it is a practice that heals my heart and this time i felt i needed to share it with you.
SO, there i am, vulnerable about my stupid "little lie" or "white lie" for your amusement, maybe. Maybe you'll laugh about it. or raise your eyebrows and open your mouth in disbelief that the associate pastor lied!!!!
Either way, i consider you important enough in my life to let you have a look into my "real life" struggles as well as victories and "insights'.
That is how i want to live His word everyday, not only write about it.
So, you see, I am wanting to let His word really have an impact in my life. Living it out through every situation and being real with others about it.
I don't just want to "sound" spiritual in what i write about. I want to live it out. So, I am giving you a window into my soul to let you see that, reality is, we are all broken. We are all susceptible to lying, cheating, sinning and falling into temptation. None is exempt. But as we allow His light to always shine, no matter how ugly the truth about who we are is, His love and forgiveness will keep us free!
Have a blessed day!
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