Honestly speaking

 The things i am seeing in my life right now are causing my heart to ache because these are things that have been dealt with in the past, and that i’ve grown more mature in, but they seem to be coming back in futile ways and I’ve been feeling sick about them, which in result make my heart feel very anxious, frustrated, irritated and angry, disappointed and defeated , which again, as a result they make me be restless, defensive and insecure.

These are patterns and/or cycles that can be devastating and can bring death and chaos to our lives and relationships. They make us begin to react to things in ways we don’t want to because we are distracted, allowing our emotions to dictate and rule over what we know it’s true, and that never brings life or healing or joy or peace.

It only brings darkness and death.

So, it also brings separation, disconnection, mistrust (as in my relationship with God and others), anger, discomfort, and the need and/or desire to look for quick fixes, to go to idols, to find a relief for our sorrow, and it makes us doubt God’s love and other’s love as well. We take everything as an attack, defensively cause we cannot discern the voices that are causing us to feel shame and guilt and torment from the voice that invites us to come to Him and abide in Him and experience His love and peace as he welcomes us into His presence.

How disturbing of a thought to think that we are not good enough for Him. It’s the most abhorring thought to God, that we will not believe that He has made us good enough, that His love is enough to make us whole, beautiful, accepted, wanted, valued, forgiven, etc.

How disturbing of a thought is to deny God of His love being received and embraced by those He intends to give it to because of mistrust and believing lies about who He is and His character.

It is but an insult and an offense to Him who so freely and unconditionally loves us.

It is like i tell my kids how i feel whenever i do something out of love for them and they don’t even notice it or acknowledge it. When they take it for granted because they are so absorbed in their own lives that they fail to see those things that are being offered and done in their favor out of love.

And how these things make the person that is doing them feel.

I tell them all the time that it hurts. That when everything within me does something out of sheer love for them and it goes unnoticed, it doesn’t mean I’ll stop doing it, but after a few of those things go unnoticed i began to feel hurt and wonder if they even care or realize they’re doing it.

But what God reveals to me today is that these things are meant to fill my heart, to communicate something to me about who i am, about how much i am loved, about my identity, about how someone feels about me, and how wanted and desired and loved I am. And how this love is meant to change me, to establish me, to give me a strong foundation, to transform me, to bring me peace and rest, and fulfill me!!!!

These are the things i need to be meditating on, when i am feeling down. To remember how loved I am, and allow this love to quiet my soul and give me rest, knowing that it is not what i do and what i can accomplish that makes me worthy and accepted before my Father, but who I am and how he sees me is what makes me acceptable in His presence. His love makes me whole!!!!

And that no matter what others say or do or not say or don't do, I can be confident that my worth and value come only from Him. He is the only source capable of filling me wholly!

CARE TO COMMENT?

trying to prove or disprove God based on our own wisdom and understanding is the most arrogant things ever.

You could say that then God is arrogant by trying to dictate what is true or not, but this is where the conflict is.

Trying to explain that the complexity of an atom, a cell, the human body, the miracle of conception and birth, or the seasons, or the growth of a plant, or the blooming of a flower, or whatever else you can think of about creation, and say that it happened all by chance, it takes more “faith and absolute craziness” than to actually believe that it all has a creator, that someone actually thought of that. 

And why? Because we boasts ourselves about our “great accomplishments and achievements” when we “create” something, and yet we are contradicting ourselves. What if we said that everything that humanity has accomplished actually happened by chance? 

It is like when God answered Job.

Who are we to think that we could debate God from within our own human limitations?

We are bound by time and space, our understanding is very limited and shallow and futile. 

Here we have a concept of a God who created everything, who made the sun and moon and stars and everything in the universe. If He’s true and real, then it makes sense that we cannot explain Him. 

If He’s not bound by space, by our own wisdom and by our own understanding, then of course we cannot make sense of injustice, or pain, or the future, or the present, or the human soul, or anything else. We are trying to understand it from our “human” wisdom. We are telling God that if it doesn’t make sense within our human wisdom then it must be false, or unreal, or fake, or far-fetched. 

But really? Is it really that way? 

Could it be that pain, sorrow, trouble, evil, injustice, and all the other things we think about and complain about and debate about trying to so arrogantly decide whether there’s a God or not, trying to disprove him actually make sense in “divine wisdom” realm?

Seriously, think about it. That is why is called faith. But you tell me it’s “foolish faith”.

But i say your faith is “foolish” as well cause honestly i think it takes “more guts about being stupid and wrong” to believe that it all happens by chance. I cannot begin to fathom the idea of believing this way. It is ludacris!!!

Go ahead and live this way if you want. It doesn’t bother me. But when you question my faith, I’m sorry to say that this is where the buck stops. 

Arguing about God and his existence is so futile. He either exists or not. But is he doesn’t then life truly is worthless and meaningless, so why live? 

There’s no true purpose. No true sense. It’s all happening by chance. So forget truth, love, justice, kindness, forgiveness, family, loyalty, peace, etc. It doesn’t exist either. They’re all relevant subjects, subjected to our own application of the “concept”. Whatever i think it’s true is what matters. 

But whenever it messes with your definition or concept of truth then we have a problem. Cause each one of these topics are relevant to each person. 

The way each of us interprets it then makes it real. 

Forget about God and an intelligent design with an intelligent operations manual and with guidance for living and breathing and loving and being loved. Forget about a life with purpose and with a system of right and wrong, blessings and curses, and with a promise of life in abundance.

THat’s too far fetched.

You believe the wind cause you feel it. But you can’t see it.

The trinity makes no sense, right? Cause we have the ultimate wisdom that allows us to judge and put on trial that entity which whether you believe it or not ultimately made us and has our lives in his hands.

We are putting God on trial based on our own broken, flawed and twisted judgement. GOOD LUCK!!!

Rejecting God or the concept of God comes more from a desire of rejecting everything he stands for based on my perception of how things should be an look like and make sense. Again, based in my own wisdom.

And we reject these things so that we can be entitled to live life our own way under our own rules and control, claiming that we can live with no regrets and no consequences. But we find this impossible, cause no matter how we “choose to live” we cannot escape conscience and guilt and shame and torment. Because they’re things wisely designed to point us back to God, to our need for fulfillment and peace and wholeness. Crazy, uh? WE are designed to be accountable and to belong!!!

Thoughts on life as we look at the new year!

We cannot make growth happen

We cannot produce anything.

We cannot make it rain

We cannot make the sun come up

We cannot make the soil be rich (maybe a little bit)

We cannot make a single plant grow. We simply can’t

Only God, only His power, His love, His life can bring life to anything.

Our lives, our everyday struggles, our challenges, our decisions, our choices, fears, doubts, pain, sorrow, joys, victories, these things

they’re all known by our creator, and he’s very aware of every single detail of our lives.

All we can do is get to a place of awareness in our lives that in fact, this Creator, this God, this Father, is indeed watching, listening, working and doing His work in the midst of it all, and in being aware of these truths, encourage others to pause, to think, to give time to our hearts and souls to stop from all our doing and recognize and realize these things, and it’s in the midst of this pausing, this stopping, that then we can hear, see, think and receive what hope, what life, what joy and love he offers.

We are constantly full of ourselves and everything that pertains to us. Our own goals, ideas, thoughts, dreams, visions, filters, world views, convictions, beliefs, ways of doing things, etc.

We are taught to be this way. Yet we know His spirit is constantly asking us, begging us, crying out to us to come to the place of rest, of quietness, of peace, of hush, of stillness. Why?

Because it is our own voices and the voices of the world and all the pursuits and the rat race that fill us, and there’s very little truth, very little life, hope, grace, joy, love and life in these voices. 

They’re all geared to make us selfish, enclosed, isolated, to hide, to hold back, to protect, to cover up, to excuse, to defend, to run away, to separate, to divide, etc.

These voices are meant to drain us, with the promise to fill us. 

They are meant to destroy us, to steal from us, to scam us, to kill us little by little.

But to slow down it means to surrender. To let go. To trust. To believe God. TO believe His truth. To risk. To gamble. To bet. 

So, we have a choice. Is there hope in the way we’re going? The way we are living? In the things we are pursuing? In the way we’re leading our lives?

Is there? Hope? Joy? Fulfillment? Life? Peace? Rest? Healing?